It was such a simple little spell
And she thought it all went rather well.
She'd picked her herbs by full moon bright,
From the bottom of the garden in the middle of the night.
A few leaves of this, a pinch of that
And collected it all in her witches hat.
She'd given it a shake, muttered some words that rhyme
And then declared "It's obviously time!"
She'd arranged her cauldron (well the kettle that needed repairs)
On the camping stove from under the stairs.
She'd stirred and she'd prodded her magical brew
Whilst invoking her gods or just the one that she knew.
She was sitting there lonely and looking around,
Incense and candles displayed on the ground.
Suddenly finding courage to hand
She shouted it out "I want a man!"
Then a crack and a thud from over the wall
And at her feet her man did fall!
Drunk and disorderly coming home from the pub,
He'd smelt her "herb soup" and fancied some grub.
Now here he laid prostate at her feet.
Her eyes and his at last did meet.
Through drunken eyes he saw an angel.
She saw her error through the flickering candle!
"Oh heck and bugger,
This can't be me lover!"
And the moral of this tale
We all know so well.
When you get what you ask for
It's a lifetime of hell!
Spring Equinox 2004