Dredging up the pain from the
deepest crevices within,
I feel it burrowing, Forcing
its way through to my Soul,
Taking me far, far away - into
the black swirling mists of Nothingness.
No lanterns to light my way,
just . deep, dark, Consuming Emptiness, and a
Void unable to be filled with
even the Sweetest Smelling Love.
Entering the very depths of my
being. Insanity? Perhaps!
But there awaits a welcoming
smile from a place which has known of Me
Before - before I've escaped
its clutches, time and time over!
But has it taken me this time
Reaching out into the thousand
silken chords which 'twine and twist as they
Try desperately to envelop me
in their softness;
For they hear my cry "protect
Me"; "hold me" . and oh, how I want them to.
For I so need to be 'held' a
No fear within their Stifling,
Tightening Suffocation tonight.
'Catharsis' someone called my
But how they burn the very essence
of me in their struggle to be heard.
Unable to make sense of a world
which pervades another . unable to make
Sense of another which pervades
"Scrambled eggs" my thoughts
just cried .
Why yes, but that's just the
entrée in this Feast of Fears and Masquerades.
And how I pray to "Whoever The
Hell Can Hear Me!" in this Midnight Frenzy
And seemingly endless pit of
despair - but in silence I implore the Truth of
How it is for me, for I feel
no place within - or without .
Confusion heightened, a tortured,
tormented Soul is mine for sure.
Yet then I lay through veils
of tears, and feel Her swallowing me Whole, as
My Spirit fights for just a
time to rekindle a light so far away, ethereal -
But nonetheless present .
But all too soon - fragmented
Where did I go? . Where did
I begin? Was I ever here, there or anywhere?
For a moment, a glimpse of the
familiar saffron coloured tenderness enters
My Pot - then fritters away
in Her sweet breath as faerie dust, taking my
Own with Her as my cries become
meaningless - even to me - a paradoxical
Silhouette - dark against dark.
Who then can possibly understand
when I speak in such riddles of this place
Within, where I simultaneously
excoriate and fight to Nurture My Whole?