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Our Dark Mother

The reasons why and the reasons how, I am yet to fully understand.
Stirrings within me that quicken my womb and fill my heart with fresh new life;
A life renewed time and time again as I return to the mother at Samhain.
My Lady I am under your spell as your embrace quells all doubts and irrelevant thoughts within me.
Take me in and devour my fragile shell as I willingly offer you my body and soul.
The dark damp soil of Autumn is pungent and moist with burgeoning death,
Memories bound in blood and bone.
The time of the ancestors is nigh as I connect to the land.
In dark dreams I walk the ancient spirit paths fearing to return,
Yet the long forgotten forests of dreams awakens within me.
Moonlight shines ethereally through the pines revealing the spikes of discarded tines, majestic on the barren ground.
The Lord knowing he was no match for the Lady offered all that he was and was yet to become.
The time to sleep has come again.
Clawing at the dark, musky earth with all that I am, so shall I return once more to that airless womb, that eternal palace of comfort and peace.
How easy I sink into the sensuous, yielding mother, my lungs clogged with her body, her sinews and her blood.
Breathing eludes me as the earth opens up, all reasoning lost as the darkness surrounds me.
The stark coldness of her body comforts me as I curl up and surrender in the death and decay of humanity.
She does not compromise, she will not bargain.
I sink further and further down; my brain numb, held in the void.
Sweet yielding mother, I give up all that I was to your dark embrace.
Becoming one with lives once lived, battles once fought, lives once lost, all the pain, all the tears, all the yearning of the human soul become me: are me.
Deep crushing roots tear unforgivingly at my soft skin opening wounds long forgotten.
Blood flows uncompromisingly into the mother.
The sacrifice is always hers for the taking whether offered willingly or not.
My sacred blood in the motherís cauldron;
Use it as you will, My Lady

Will I glimpse the shadow of the Lord in this darkness to atone for all that was?
Vibrant red blood of my past seeping into the mother.
The old ones call and I sink further down into total silence, solitude and retribution.
Yet blinded, cold and alone I hear a distant drum beat; a familiar rhythm;
Pulsating within my heart
Distant and faint, a tune I once played.
Something inside me is stirring to this sound.
The drum beats louder and louder;
An incessant rhythm.
I rejoice in knowing that I am not alone.
My Lady offers forgiveness
Revealing truth and light.
My living heartbeat resonating upon my soul
I am filled with the gold of renewal and transformation flowing through me.
I arise from the dark, reborn once more.
Sweet kisses to my Lady linger on my yearning lips.
A cycle fulfilled, a soul renewed.

Tumart Sept 2009